I feel like I constantly live in the shadow of others. Whether it be my brother or my best friend I always end up hiding behind someone. While I’m complaining now I think I feel more grateful than anything. Without them I’m not sure what I would do. I live in fear of others. While I pretend not to care, I do. I can’t make the first move, I can’t branch out, I can’t talk in front of others, I can’t do what you do!

Why is it surprising to find out I’m an introvert? Just because when I’m around you I feel alive. Do you feel the same around me? God why am I so insecure? Why can’t I say what I want and mean it too? I’m here and I’m trying to share without shaking at least once. Can’t you just give me one time? I want to talk but it seems so hard. Thoughts fly in and out of my head like an airport. Am I content living in others’ shadows? 

No. That’s why I’m writing this now. I’m not content watching my brother win twice the awards as I do. I’m not content watching my best friend leave me for some new group every night with out fail. But what can I do about it, right?